its been a FAT minute!!! 

hi guys!! 

update: my squad arrived in Costa Rica on January 8th (almost a month ago WOAH), and we are staying at a base thats 5 minutes away from the beach! thanks God!! its been a wild ride so far, and definitely hasnt been what i expected in the slightest. 

the reality of the race isnt what i expected. its harder yet better than what i expected. 

although its portrayed, my days arent filled with sitting in a cute cafe shop with my friends, or walking around downtown, shopping at all the little markets or even walking on the beach all day. 

my days are filled with constantly slapping my leg due to the mosquitoes resting on me- waking up scratching in the middle of the night. its filled with the constant need to reapply bug spray. clearing out an 11 acre jungle with only machetes and rakes in an area where snakes are prominent (seriously my biggest fear). waking up in the middle of the night or that morning having an ant or some other critter crawling on me. its filled with dehydration. being careful to not get the water from the shower in my mouth or remembering to not rinse my toothbrush in the sink with the water or i will be really sick. i have my days and weeks of longing for home. longing for an air conditioned room. longing to have a moment where im not sweating 24/7. 

but in the midst of all  that. 

i can say i sleep on a mattress that isnt on a floor. 

i can say i stay and sleep in a room with four walls, may not be the best structured, or even reach the ceiling all the way, but i have four walls and a ceiling. 

i can say that i have had some of the best, most authentic food. 

i can walk to a market to get snacks whenever i want. 

i can say ive seen a light spark in someones eyes when i mention the name Jesus. 

i can say i live in the jungle with monkeys in my backyard where theyre screeching (thats the only way i can describe the sound) wakes me up every morning. 

i can say i live with my best friends and have had some of the best conversations ever. 

i can say i have formed relationships with people who dont even speak the same language as me. 

i have heard Abba talk to me sweetly.

i have experienced Abba being so patient with me even when im not patient with Him and i dont understand why He does some things. 

i have had Abba walk me through some really hard things- but He has been there to hold my hand through it all. i have had nights of crying and wanting to just be with my family at home- but Abba has reminded me over and over and over and over ( lets just say a lot), that my home is found in Him. my comfort is ultimately in His hands. my rest is in Him. 

so while having sweet mornings of walking to the bakery and getting a dulce de leche pastry, or walking to a cute little cafe, i also have the hard moments. 

and if it takes all those hard times and moments to have the sweet ones and see Abba move in miraculous ways, i would do it all over again. 

so reality of the race... 

more self ministry than i or anyone couldve ever imagined. 

i have known Jesus since i was 6, but i feel like i just now started my relationship with Him 5 months ago. 

so choosing to trust Him while He redeems, restores and rebuilds parts of me and my life.

much love,

gracie <3 

(song that has reminded me that He is my home:

At the Table - Josh Garrels )